Letter to January

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                                          35th January 2022
His Royal Miserliness,
First Born of the Gregorian Calendar 
Slow Motion Avenue
Three Hundred & Sixty-Five One-Quarter Days.

Dear January, 

Last week, I wrote you a very long disturbing letter in which I chided you for your yearly niggardly attitude and wanton display of sluggish disdain for the dignity of labour and the golden rule not to mete out what you cannot countenance in others. 

It seems nearly everyone has lost something since you came up: students cannot find their school fees, tenants are owing rent, housewives have misplaced the chop-money they were given in December, pubs have lost customers, a couple of drunks have lost their front teeth, the few virgins we have, have broken their vessels of honour and not a few ladies are missing periods. 

As if that was not enough, many married men are in a state of panic! (Now this only happens when both the wife and side chick miss their periods at the same time!) The other day, I heard a grown man groan! Imagine that!

But I know you would just retort that it was all my fault. Is it wrong to make people happy?

On re-reading the letter however, I have tossed it into the waste paper basket in hope that you would repent sooner rather than later. 

In the light of your obduracy, I have resolved to send you this note. 

Hoping this would meet with your kind approval, I remain sincerely,

your loving sister,

Funfair December




Comments

  1. Aduedem10:45 am, January 25, 2022

    I love that. Wonderfully and beautifully written.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown10:51 am, January 25, 2022

    I love this write up

    ReplyDelete
  3. Vitus Adiita (Rev. Fr.)11:13 am, January 25, 2022

    Hahahahaha always writing mischief.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown12:01 pm, January 25, 2022

    Haha 🤣, WOW I didn't want it to end when I was reading it, really interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Unknown12:06 pm, January 25, 2022

    Well thought and scribbled my brother
    Kudos

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ghanatta Ayaric12:07 pm, January 25, 2022

    You make writing look so easy.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Martin Akandawen12:43 am, January 26, 2022

    Nicely written. Thank you John for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  8. Su5:55 am, January 27, 2022

    January for you. Stupendous piece

    ReplyDelete

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