What is in a greeting?

There was an old man in my village who didn’t like to be greeted “Saliu’wa?” (Good morning?), or for that matter good afternoon, or good evening. He preferred to be greeted in the traditional exchange which entail a recital of enquiries about a person’s health, and that of their spouse, children, siblings, parents, other relatives and even neighbours. As children, we took delight in arousing his anger by shouting “saliu’wa!” at him from a distance before we took to our heels and run for dear life.
I played this trick on him several times and he chased me and threw his walking stick at me on each occasion. A couple of times however, I greeted him beginning with “Fi yiri ya?” or “Ku baasa?” (Literally, ‘have you risen?’ or ‘is it better?’), and he always responded nicely. I have also heard about other people who behaved like this old man in other neighbourhoods.

A couple of years back, whilst in Europe, I greeted a colleague “good morning” and proceeded to ask; “how are you?” Before replying, she asked me: “Do you want the truth or are you just asking?” I was shocked for a moment but recovered quickly enough to say I wanted the truth. She then replied that she was ok but in truth she was getting stressed with her job and school work. I sympathized saying that it would get worse before it would get better. We both laughed.

I recently noticed that, along my street, a group of men like to sit at a corner especially in the evenings. Every time I pass by them, I would say ‘good evening’ with a slight pause before I continue. Sometimes I don’t. But I observed some people (mostly women) stop and bend down on one knee to engage in a long exchange with them. I have seen and heard this kind of greetings several times. This recent observation however had me thinking about greetings in general. I have realized that some people are never satisfied with just ‘good morning’ or a simple ‘how are you?’ They must ask after your family, workplace, relatives and colleagues before they feel that they have greeted.

So I ask, what is in a greeting?

Greeting has been defined as “an act of communication in which human beings intentionally make their presence known to each other, to show attention to, and to suggest a type of relationship (usually cordial) or social status (formal or informal) between individuals or groups of people coming in contact with each other”. This definition, though very informative, is quite limited when compared to greeting in African or Ghanaian and Bulsa tradition. Reflecting on the Bulsa greeting ritual and recital, it is clear to me that the intention is not only to make your presence known and suggest the relationship involved but to show and demonstrate good will towards the respondent and to extend to them your best wishes for their health and long life. I regularly hear expressions such as:

“Ku baasa? Naa me yiri yaa?, ti bi kan zaab dila; a bi ti juiisi a nyoro”

(Literally: “Is it better? Have you all risen (from your beds?), let us not consider that as a small thing; and let us beg (for more) to add to it”).

These expressions show our goodwill and wishes for the recipients of the greeting. Apart from the words, the traditional greeting ritual and recital allows two people in greeting to look at each other. This also allows them to read each other’s body language and appreciate the greetings better. Many people especially the elderly do not therefore consider that there’s enough goodwill and good wishes in a simple ‘good morning, afternoon or evening’. Such a shabby greeting may be uttered with contempt and ill will as the greeter can say them without breaking their stride or turning their face to the intended recipient.

Must we greet everyone we meet?

The answer to this question is a straight yes in my village and probably in many other small towns and villages. However, it may be difficult to say yes to it in a larger town or city. As a fresh undergraduate at the university, a good friend and brother had advised me not to greet everyone I meet. He said that such behaviour shows clearly that you’re a freshman or a visitor to the campus. After a year, I understood the truth of his advice. I often stopped when I was greeted on the road by someone I am not familiar with, thinking that they want to ask my help about something. When I realize it is only just a greeting, I am annoyed that they had intruded upon my thoughts and stride. Funny isn’t it? But I also realized that when people greet me (especially when I am not busy), it makes me pay attention to them. And it makes their faces familiar when you meet them again. Sometimes I seize the opportunity to start a conversation.

Some people take offense when you do not greet them!

My landlady (who’s one hundred years old!) often complains to me when one of my co-tenants do not greet her or do not take time to greet her. Initially I thought she was just being difficult but thinking more about the essence of greetings in general, I began to understand her complaints. Her concern is to know that her tenants are doing well as she never forgets to ask “apom te sen?” (Twi for ‘how is life?’). Nevertheless, I have also observed that some people are so obsessed with greetings that when you pass them on the road and don’t greet them (because your mind is preoccupied with something else), they will either call you back and proceed to admonish you or they will go and complain to another person that ‘you don’t greet people’ or ‘you walk over people as if you don’t know them’. Yes, greetings is that important to them.

So what should you do?

Greet as many people as you can every day and smile whilst doing it. It is not only a way of acknowledging them but it gives them the opportunity to wish you well. It is also good for good neighbourliness, for building friendship and trust and for good health!

Greeting is an important part of daily life. It is so important that even as children, we were encouraged to come forward and say “tia” (welcome) to guests and to greet them. The pressures of the modern world often stifle these courtesies we were taught at childhood so that we forget them altogether. Next time you want to greet someone or a group of people, think about what you’re saying and why you’re saying those words. A greeting is a recommendation you are writing about yourself for people who want to have an opinion about you for whatever reason. Often when you ask after a person from their neighbours, you may hear something like: “he/she is a good person, he greets people.” If you don’t want this, what else do you want?